Monday, November 26, 2012

Skanger young wan's who think they are PUNKS!

What the fuck is this all about i hear you cry.  Its skanger cunt young ones walking around in Doc Martens or Crepes wearing tshirts of bands they would never in their wildest dreams have heard of.  The little bastards.  Its coz that fucking twat Rihanna is doing it, they are jumping on the fuckin band wagon, the little motherfuckers, the fuckin CHAV BAND WAGON is the one their riding on.  Seen 2 of the cunts yesterday and I just said to myself, they wouldnt know punk if it walloped them in the face very very fucking hard, which should have been the fuckin case.  The thing is, every other day of the week you see the cunts wearing the latest range of KNACKSUITS and BOAT SHOES, they look fucking RIDICULOUS!!! They should all be tarred, feather, smacked in the head with a PIKE (fish), fucked into a barrel and rolled down the tallest hill you can find!!!! FUCKIN ARSEHOLES!!! GOOD DAY TO YA!!!!

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Garda and Segways!

Yeah, this combination goes hand in hand big time, ME BOLLIX!!!!  What the fuck are they giving the garda segways for, so they can act the bollocks on their lunch break, they do that anyway!!!!  I seen 2 of the numptys yesterday on the fuckin things doing spins on them at the traffic lights, I can see what the tax payers money is paying for, WHAT A LOAD OF BOLLOCKS, these garda thought they were in fuckin detroit or something, they thought they were in robocop!!! If that was the case, I hope Clarence Bodiker blows your fucking hands off with a shotgun, yiz cunts.  When they first gave the pigs bikes I was saying to myself awe jayzis, theyre trying to be all american now, fuckin arseholes, but SMEGWAYS, i mean SMEGWAYS, oh i've done it again, SEGWAYS, i thought to myself, theyre taking the royal piss!!!!!!  They just look thick on them, hey wait a minute, maybe theres a hidden agenda behind this to actually make them look stupid, yeah, i can dream on.  Tatty bye bye now!!!  P.S.  THEY DO LOOK VERY STUPID ON THEM, ITS LIKE THEYRE RIDING A FUCKIN DUBLIN CORPORATION BIN WITH FUCKIN WHEELS ON!!!

Skangers wearing BABY BLUE tracksuits and BODY FUCKING WARMERS!!!!!!

Ahhhhhhhhhh, what the fuck is with this.  Every fucking skanger you see nowadays is wearing a baby blue tracksuit and these body warmers, HARD MEN, WHA!  SCUMMY FUCKS!!!  They also wear fuckin CONVERSE aswell, yeah, they fucking ruined them for everyone and also VANS, you scummy little fucks!!! I seen an ad for DUFFERS skanger wear this morning and it was basically that scumbag look.  If I get hold of a thick black snowman marker that poster is going DOWN!!! Im gonna write on it, yeah, DUFFERS, THE FUCKING SKANGER LOOK!!!!  They still do the HANDS DOWN THE BAGS thing aswell, what the fuck, theyre checking to see if theres still a COCKTAIL SAUSAGE down there, little fuckin REPTILES!!!! EXTERMINATE, EXTERMINATE!!!!!!

Thursday, March 1, 2012

George Hook

Now this RASHER EARED FUCK is a huge pain in the fuckin arse!!!!  I hate this piece of shit, his voice cuts through me like THE SHITS after a few BAD PINTS OF GUINNESS!!!  Now listen, he does news talk and all this bollocks and he loves RUGBY(loadoffuckingbollocksfuckinwankshitcrapatrocioussucksballsacktotheenthdegreeBIGGESTPILEOFWANKEVER)! Hooooo, im out of breath after that!  He also hates cyclists, oh is that right, PORK CHOP EARS, GAMMON STEAK LOBES, he has a head like A WELL SLAPPED ARSE, A COW LICKING PISS OFF A NETTLE, BULLDOG CHEWING ON A WASP, A BOILED SHITE, JOHN MERRICK(ELEPHANT MAN)!  Hes a complete and uttter WANKER and that Sky televsion ad doesnt do him any fuckin favours, oh no suree bob it fuckin doesnt!! Hes even talking shite on that ad aswell! Im glad PJ Gallagher stung the fuck on NAKED CAMERA because you could see what he was really like, well, I kinda knew he was a DICKHEAD when I first seen/heard THE SON OF A FATFUCK!!!  GEORGE HOOK CAN GO "FOOK" HIMSELF!!! The BRAWN MC HAGGIS HEADED FUCK!!! Now goodnight and dont have nightmares about this DILDO!!!!

Monday, February 27, 2012

Conor Keaney from

Now this little ARSE GRAPE is a reviewer from some site called, should be called in my opinion because its pure SHITE!!!  Anyway, this little FUCK STAIN done a review of SLF when they played here last time also slating the lee harveys, well this little FECAL NUGGET wouldnt know punk if it booted him in the face very hard and that should be the case, the little fuckwit.  It sounded like he was earwigging quite a lot at this gig also because he has a lot of stuff that people were talking about in the review, the nosey little PRICK BAG!!!  And if this is the cunt i'm thinking of, it looks like hes been smacked in the nose a couple of times coz its flat as fuck, thats what ya get when you cant keep your nose out of other peoples affairs, now fuck off ya NOSEY SON OF A WANK BAG 2012!!!  If he done a bad review of a performance I done, next time I seen him I would FUCK my BASS GUITAR(AXE) at the FUCK PIG!!!  You can read the SHODDY review here, he doesnt know what hes SHITING about, perhaps the amount of digs he's got in the past fucked with his head, hahaha, THE LITTE SHIT STAIN!!!!!  It starts off with I GOT TO THE ACADEMY TOO EARLY, well go for a fucking PINT in THE OVAL across the road you THICK CUNT!!!!

Friday, February 10, 2012

Ireland AM

Rarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!  Now this show really gets on my TITS!!!  We have the presenters Sinead "OWL FACE" Desmond(She has a head like a fuckin owl, the state of the cunt), Aiden "WHO ATE ALL THE PIES" Cooney, Mark "I'M GONNA GET THE SACK VERY SOON FOR SAYING SOMETHING DODGY" Cagney and Laura "I THINK I OWN TV3" Woods and on News we have Siobhan "THE JAW" Bastible(the size of that fucking jaw).  Right right, the shit they do be talking about on this, very serious stuff like how the country is fucked and theyre sitting there acting concerned but they dont give a fuck because they taking home a fuckin GIGANTIC salary at the end of the week, the fuckheads.  When yer wan Sinead is interviewing people she's nearly falling aFUCKINGsleep, shes about as interested in the topic as I am in seeing jedward in concert for fuck sake and then yer man mark cagney or fatso fuck aiden is always interrupting whoevers talking. LOADA BOLLOCKS!!!  Theyre only down the road from me, well the studio where its filmed, perhaps I should cycle down there and fuck loads of shit at them like frozen burgers, eggs, seaweed, chairs, tables, desks!!! Wankers, take the show off the air now!!! GOBSHITES!!! Have a nice day now ya hear!!

Northside Shopping Centre

Now hello, this place is a FUCKIN KIP!!! This place is 18,000 meters squared of sheer SHITHOLE!!  Its has a lot of shops in it including Dunnes(rip off), Kennys Sports(load of bollocks), Tommys Out, I mean Tommys Toyshop(oh wait, thats not even there anymore), Mascot Newsagent(scummers work there), Graham O Sullivan's Restaurant(they do an exquisate GRAVY CHIP but its a KIP), FAS(you have about as much chance of finding work there as not coming across a dealer outside the shopping centre), McDonalds(the less said about this outlet, the better, lets just put it this way, the living dead eat in there and hang around outside).  Thers a wide range of shitholes in this centre, theres probably about 60 or more shitholes i'd say.   Anyway, this place is a fuckin kip, the security in there would actually help you fleece the place, its a joke and of course a kip like this wouldnt be what it is without THE SKANGERS, oh yeah, theres fuckin plenty of them in here, you cant move a cm without bumping into one of the FUCKERS!!  Whatever you do, only go to this shopping district with about a tenner because chances are, its gonna be nicked on you!!!, see what I mean.  Stay away from this kip if you know whats good for you, all the good shops that use to be there are gone, so theres no need for you to go!!! BYE BYE NOW!!!

Thursday, February 9, 2012

O2 Broadband

Well I'd like to just start by saying, PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!  This is my 45th post by the way, mental.  Anyway, lets get back to this piece of SHIT!  Right, it costs a fair bit to buy the modem itself, about 90euro if im not mistaken and then on top of that the bill of 20 euro a month, some people are on different plans even 30 euro per month.  Sounds like your getting a bargain hey, well guess what, YOUR FUCKIN NOT!!!  This is a plastic DONGle that you plug into the side of your computer, the USB port to be exact, its very fuckin awkward because it keeps banging off shit and disconnecting, thats BULLSHIT!!  It makes this annoying noise when it disconnects that goes "duh dum, duh dum", well folks, get use to it because your gonna be hearing that sound an awful fuckin lot!!!  The coverage on this thing is a fuckin joke also, you load up a page and you can go off and make your fuckin dinner before the thing is loaded, DIAL UP is probably a better option, I SHIT YOU NOT!!!  Sometimes it even disconnects itself without you even doing anything, HOLY HELL!!!  You'd be better off trying to find free wifi or something from someones gaff, fleece it if you have to because seriously, this shit will make you have a BREAKDOWN, you'll probably go through several computers/laptops from beating the fuck out of them because this thing wont connect.  I tell you, this should come with warning saying, THIS COULD BE BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH!!!  Dont get this shit, its not worth a WANK, spend your money on something else, go to the fuckin library and use theyre broadband and if your worried about the bus fair getting theyre, just think of how much it would cost to buy that modem, pay the bill and YOUR HEALTH for fuck sake!! Take it easy compadres and dont do the horse that is O2!!! Good day!!

Old Rubber Wrestlers from the 80's

Hoy hoy there, today I am talking about them huge rubber wrestlers from the 80's you use to be able to get.  These things were fucking giant, heres a picture if you dont know what I'm talking about but i'm sure a lot of you do!

We played with these things for hours on end, you couldnt even move them really because the rubber was so fuckin thick on the jaysus things, I remember a lad trying to do a DDT with the jake the snake figure and his arm came off, yeah, your not supposed to do that!! Hahaha!  After getting bored with playing with them we'd have a little fight with them, I mean like hitting each other over the head with them and all that shit! If you got a smack over the head with these things you would have a lump on your head for about a MONTH for fuck sake!! Hahaha!  Mental stuff!  Then there was a lad around the corner from us who use to bite the fuckin toes off them, why the fuck would you do that, is he not getting fed or summid!!!  Anyway, all his figures were destroyed coz either the toes were bitten off or something else, he asked me one day did I wanna swap him I think I had BRETT HART and he wanted to swap DYNAMITE KID minus the fuckin toes for it and I said no, of course!  Where as I should have said NO YOU HUNGA, THE TOES ARE FUCKIN MISSIN, he cant even stand up for fucks sake!! I know I have some more funny one's about them but just cant think of any at the mo, oh yeah, someone had a MR WONDERFUL figure, it was the same lad that broke his jake the snake, yeah, the figure had NO FUCKIN ARMS ON IT, what was it with him and taking the arms off, ah right, he was probably trying to do moves with them out of the comfort zone, haha, the stupid fuck head!!!!  Anyway, these wrestlers were fuckin excellent and really enjoyed them apart from getting belted over the head with them hahah!!! Maybe thats where the term RUBBERHEAD spawned from, if you got a smack of one of these loads of times it turned you into one, hahahah!!! Good day to ya!!!

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Philips SHE8000 Earphones

Oh boy oh fuckin boy!!!! These things are the dogs fuckin bollocks!!!  I got these for 12.99 reduced from 34.99 and fuck me, it was one of the best 12.99's i've ever spent.  These are loud as fuck, which means no background noise.  Those skanger cunts down the back of the bus listening to theyre stupid fuckin unce unce unce music and squeaky voice ringtones have become a thing of the past with these bad boys in your EARHOLES!!!  I use them cycling and on the bus, cycling I have them up pretty loud and I can hear no traffic which is fuckin great(makes me sound like some kind of crazy cyclist, well guess what, i'm not, I am always very aware) and then on the bus, you dont even need to have your mp3 player turned up very loud because these bad boys do all the fuckin work.  I love when you cant hear skanger dickheads on the bus because they do be talking complete and utter shite and those ringtones, holy fuck, my eye does be twitching like fuck, saying to myself, get me off this bus but now they all go fuck themselves!!!! I would definately recommend these bad boys, get your ass to argos if you want a set!!! G'BYE!!!!

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Carlos 3 pack Pizza's from ALDI

Wellety wellety, these things are fuckin mank!!!  Bought them one saturday for dinner, thought we were getting a bargain but NAY, when you open the box its like 3 giant rich tea biscuits covered in tomato sauce with cheese on it, at least rich tea are fuckin nice, these things are POXY!!!  Cooked one of them anyway and fuck, one bite and you could tell straightaway why they were so low in price, fuck me, they must be made out of newspaper or something, after taking a bite it was like the running of the bull in my mouth and they stampeded through all sorts of shite on the way through, fuckin woeful.  Dont get me wrong, carlos do make some nice pizzas in aldi but these ones take the COCK, i mean CAKE, dont get them, i mean it, you'll be crying on the inside once you take a bite.  There was 3 of them pizzas your wondering and we only cooked one, where did the other 2 go your wondering, not down the pie hole, in the fuckin bin, if they fit down the jax i would have gladly flushed them down there, PURE MANKINESS IN PIZZA FORM, dont thrust them,  i mean trust sorry.  Tata!

Monday, February 6, 2012

Funny Rhyme/Poem I heard in school

This is hilarious, I heard this when I was in Primary school and still remember it, hahahah, its goes a little something like this:

Matthew, Mark, Luke and John
When to bed with nothing on
Up stood John to see the light
He went to the window to have a shite
Out the window stuck his bum
Julius Ceasar passing by
Hears a rumble in the sky
Looks up to his surprise
With a load of brown stuff in his eyes!

Hahhaha! Take it handy!!!

Heinz Smokey BBQ Beans

Well heres a doozy for ya,  the idea of these sounds nice but that can be very deceiving i tell you, very deceiving indeed.  I bought these in tesco a few weeks ago and I was saying to myself oh i'd say these will be fuckin delish man, but no, in the words of social distortion "I WAS WRONG", why does this keep happening to me, sweetcorn relish, anesley harriot for gods sake.  Right, I got in from being out on a session one night and decided I would have something to eat, that something to eat being in the form of BBQ beans, I thought there was gonna be a party in my gob and everyone was asked to attend but NAH,  one forkfull of these bbq flavoured death bullets was more than enough, my face went from normal to looking like THE ELEPHANT MAN, they were rotten I tells ya, fuckin rotten, I cant really describe the taste, it certainly didnt taste like bbq anyway,  it was like there was a funeral in my mouth and everyone was flinging bbq flavoured feces around the gaff smothered in bin lorry smell, fuckin rank!!!!  Anyway, your better off sticking to the old school way and just putting bbq sauce into your beans, I done that before and it was A1 SHARON, take it easy now and dont buy them beans, you'll regret it i tell ya!!! Good day to yiz!!!

Friday, February 3, 2012

People who talk about theyre Spouse/Partner as if you know them!

This really gets on my BALLSACK!!!!  People I've worked with and been on course's with and all that shite talking about theyre spouse/partner as if theyre your best mate, ah yeah ANTO bought me this last night, who the fuck is ANTO, i've only met ya 5 minutes ago and if your boyfriends name is ANTO your obviously a SKANGER CUNT!!! Anyway, I used to work with a right FUCKHOLE years ago and she'd be talking about her boyfriend, now husband(god help him) coz she is some piece of work and he looks like HARRY POTTER, but anyway, she'd be walking around the office talking to people saying ah FRAN this and FRAN that, FRAN cooked me a big meal last night, yeah, ya can tell coz someone of your carraige EVANS cant even make clothes for you for fucks sake!!!!  Its a load of crap anyway, I dont know them and the way they talk about them frankly my dear I dont give a fuck about meeting them!!! Tatty day day!!!

Topnovil-Same Old Story

Right right, Topnovil are an Australian punk rock band I discovered yesterday, when I heard the title track The Fight from theyre same old story album I was fuckin hooked, i heard it on a blog.  I was on a download site and seen the album and I seen them compared to Rancid and Bouncing Souls, I am a huge fan of both these bands so I decided to check this band out and fuck me sideways with a spoon, they were the dogs bollocks.  I downloaded the album which is 15 tracks of pure punk rock with some ska punk songs also, I think the american version has 18 tracks, hey hey, i need 3 extra fuckin tracks, anyway.  The album kicks off with a song called The Fight, which at the start sounds very Dropkick Murphys/Real McKenzies coz it has the oul bagpipe's which i'm a huge fan of but holy shit, these lads pull it off, straight into a rancid sounding number.  Second track Another Scenario sounds like Rancid "and out come the wolves" era and exactly like that band Left Alone(pure fuckin class).  From then on, the album takes off and its like a boot in the head from a steeltoe doc marten boot, every track is fuckin class, whether it be the ska numbers or just the punk rock tracks, this album is a fuckin knockout and I definately recommend it for any punk rock lovin motherfucker out there!!  What are you waiting for, get onto and get the fuckin thing!! Good day to ya now!!!

Monday, January 30, 2012

Toffee Nose's (POSH BASTARDS)

Another bunch of BASTARDS I hate!!!!  Snobby fuckheads really get on my WICK, just because you live a richer fuckin silly cunt of a lifestyle doesnt give you the right to look down your fuckin nose at me, dickhead!! Driving around in a flashy car/jeep thinking your the big I AM, fuck that shit!  When I was walking into work last week, theres a mercedies factory near me and some fucker came flying into the driveway in his fancy MERC, well fuck that shit, he could have killed someone, just coz you own that fancy car doesnt mean you own DUBLIN, you pox bottle you!!! I will break your toffee nose with a TOFFEE HAMMER, MOTHERFUCKHEAD!!!  That snobby accent aswell that the cunts adopt really gets on my TITS, yes thats ROISH, DISH and DASH, last time I looked there was no S in THAT!!! For fuckin hell!!!  These cunts need a smack of reality in the form of a FISH ON A DRAWER SLIDE, like in TAXI DRIVER, except he has a gun on his, my one would have a mackeral or something, POSHO's can go FUCK THEMSELVES!! A good day to ya!!!!


Now these motherfuckers I HATE with a PASSION!!!!  Fuckin wasters so they are, standing around all they in theyre tracksuits bothering people, with theyre hands down theyre CAX!! Whats with that, are they checking to see if they still have a mickey, what the fuck!!! Silly twats!!!  The other thing aswell is theyre bumfluff tash's, it looks like a piece of dirt above your fuckin lip, it looks horrendous, also known as a KNACKTASH.  Another thing that really pisses me off about these TWATSKYS is the mess fighting, what the fuck is with that for jaysus sake, GET A ROOM!!!!  Theyres defo some sexual tension or something there, they cant keep theyre fuckin MITS off of each other, AHHHH!!!  Other things TILTED CAP(needs a slap), KNACKTASH(facial smash), HANDS DOWN JOX(hes a fuckin pox), TRACKSUIT(give em a boot), NIKE AIR SHOES(he needs a facial bruise), CHOKER CHAIN(smack him with a smoothing plain)!! FUCK THE LOT OF THEM, making peoples lives a fuckin misery, EXTERMINATE the fuckers I say, stupid little moronic wankbags!!! Goodnighty!!!

Friday, January 27, 2012

50 Cent: Blood on the Sand XBOX 360

I'm not a fan of 50 cents music, I think he's grade A bullshit but this game is a fuckin GEM!!!! I picked this up in Gamestop for 11.99 and it was 11.99 well fuckin spent let me tell ya!!!  This is a third person shooter kinda like Kane and Lynch, Army of Two and all that stuff.  Its nice and violent and the scoring system is like an arcade, you get a headshot and you get more points that anything, thats why cunts keep getting theyre head blown off by yours truly!!! Its cracking, you get upgrades and shit like that to buy new weapons, silenced pistol is my fuckin favourite, i fuckin love it, the grenades are class, the language in it is beautiful also, FUCK THIS and FUCK THAT, right up my street!!!  The gore factor is fuckin fantastic, when you shoot someone the blood splats onto the wall and when you kill them theres a pool of blood left, lets keep that to the gaming world, in real life, that would be horrific but games are fuckin class, especially the violent ones, this is a great game and get it if you like your third person shooters!!! Over agus out!!!


Well well, one of the biggest bands in Irish rock history, sold loads of albums, sold out stadiums, guess what, I DONT GIVE A FUCK!!!!!  4 talentless fuckin twats that somehow made it lucky in a fluky kinda way.  Shitbags, Bono cant sing to save his life and as for his guitar playin skills, lets not get into that right now, The Edge(what kinda fuckin nickname is that anyway) voted one of the top 10 guitarists on some thing I watched one night, he was higher than SLASH, fuck that shit, who was listening to him, i'll tell ya who, someone who doesnt know a fuckin thing about music, thats who, shit guitarist, then weve got Adam wankbag Clayton on bass, he's so shit its unbefuckinlievable, he just stands there pretending to play and does this stupid little dance with his stupid shades on, fuck him anyway and last we have Larry i tiddle the drums Mullen Jr, what a shit drummer, sitting there pretending to play the drums, some people think hes one of the best, hahahah hahahahaahahahahaah, hahahaha, cough cough, my breakfast is coming up, hahahahaahah, choke, hahhahah! Hes shit!! There are tonnes of better bands around in Dublin past and present that would piss all over U2, the blades, horslips, thin lizzy, radiators!! you get my drift, some people think u2 are one of the best Irish bands ever, i have news for you, theyre not and you need to get a fuckin life!!!! WHAT A LOAD OF TALENTLESS WANK!!! Now managed by Louis Walsh, you heard it here first, hahahahahah!!! Good day!!!

Ainsley Harriot French Onion Cup a Soup

Well heres a fuckin humdinger for ya!  This was years ago I bought these things and it only came to mind now, coz i start doing these reviews again and I thought, these defo need a mention.  Right, they were selling these in Aldi before for 1.25 or something for 3 or 4 sachets and I thought to myself, hmm, thats good value and I had never had a french onion cup a soup before because the real french onion soup, in the words of colin farrel from intermission "FUCKIN DELISH MAN" but this was far from it!!!  I got home one day from a hard days work and was feeling a tad peckish, so I knocked on the oul kettle and got a few slices of bread ready, "click", thats the kettle there, so i poured the powder from the soup into the mug and I thought to myself that powder smells a bit funky, anyway, I poured the water on the powder and fuck me, the smell that hit me was unbefuckinlievable, it was like a rat crawled up a skunks arse and died, its was fuckin vile, disgusting and then to add insult to injury, i take a fuckin sip, ahhhhhhh!!!!! My face went from mortified to what the fuck am I doing to myself!!!  It was like I was gagged with a sweaty sock filled with shite and onion, its was fuckin mank i tells ya!!!!!  I fucked the rest of the thing down the sink and the soups went straight into the bin, box and all with that fucker ainsleys chevy chase(face) on it combined with autograph!!! These things were HELL in a sachet, if you ever see them, steer clear i tell ya, steer clear, if you happen to see ainsley near a box of them, throw them into his face and tell him to fuck off and never cook AGAIN!!! Goodnight!!

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Budweiser Lager

Well where do I start with this tantalisingly refreshing alcoholic beverage!!!  This stuff is the bees knees, the dogs bollocks, the fiddlers elbow, you get my drift!! This stuff is great, its 4.3 in the percentage department which is quite nice, it means you can drink plenty of the fuckers and not be banjaxed.  Id say I could drink about 12 of these bad boys in one sitting and it would get me nicely toasted and next morning, guess what, no hangover, I dont know how or why but this is one of them beers that does that and its fuckin fantastic!!  Skangers on the other hand, they drink bottles of this and after about 2 of them, THEYRE SHITFACED!!! Stupid little knack tash sporting idiots, they just cant handle theyre ale, now fuck off and dont waste my time!!! BUDWEISER IS THE DOGS BOLLOCKS!!!!! Cans and Pints only, bottles can piss off!!!!

McKennedy Sweetcorn Relish from LIDL

Well this stuff is like taking a shit whilst still wearing your fuckin trousersuit!!!  ITS FUCKIN MANKY!!!  I went into LIDL one day, as you do and rolled by the sauce/relish isle and said to myself, hmm, i think i'll treat myself to a jar of relish, they had this nice lookin jalapenis, i mean jalapeno one sorry, that looked very nice indeed but was a bit on the pricey side so i said ah fuck it, ill try this sweetcorn one, it didnt look too bad in the jar INFERNUS(oh thats the car from GTA, sorry) INFAIRNESS, haha,!  It looked rather appetising actually, so I paid for this stuff along with a bunch of other items and left the place.  I unlocked my bike, I got on my bike, I, I, I, why am I telling you all of this when I need to be warning you about the dangers of this relish!! I got home and decided I would make a sanger(sandwich) so I did, i put on the filling then put on this STUFF, I took a bite and holy fuck, fuck fucking me, it was like there was a party in my mouth and everyone was slinging SHITE at this said party!!!  The taste was very unpleasant, very unpleasant indeed, I didnt like it, I had been stabbed in the back once again, except this time it was LIDL that done it, I need to drop theyre knife back into them next time im in there, steer well clear of this condiment if you know whats good for you, oh yeah and one of the ingredients is CAULIFLOWER, i only seen that when I was dumping the fuckin thing, who puts cauliflower in RELISH, ahhhhhhhhhhh!!! MANKY!!! Seeya soon and it wont be in LIDL!!!! Tatty bye my pedigree chums!!

Angelic Upstarts/Crashed Out Split: The Dirty Dozen

Well fuck me sideways with a rowing oar!!!  This split is some of the best punk rock I have heard in a while let me tell ya!!  The upstarts are at theyre fuckin best on this, every song is a cracker and as for crashed out, fuckin brilliant band, they play punk rock n roll, sound slightly like social distortion, wretched ones, reducers sf, that kinda stuff, its fuckin great.  The track that stood out most for me by the upstarts was Nazi BNP, which is about them fuckin wankers!!! Its your basic upstarts song with deadly verse which brings you into the deadly Oi sounding chorus, that makes the hair stand on the back of your ballsack, i mean neck, sorry sorry!! haha!  Crashed out track that stands out for me on this is Get a Life, its sounds like "let the boots do the talking" by Oi Polloi, but fuck it, its a cracking track, as is the oi polloi song but yeah, this split is a must for all Punk Rock/Oi/Punk rock n roll fans, get it, do it now, do it today or do it eventually!!!!! YOU HEAR ME!!! Over and Out!!!

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

The Vinetree Off Licence

Well well, I was on the 123 bus yesterday coming through summerhill(dodgy as fuck) or as I call it SCUMMERHILL, anyway the further you go down on the bus I think you come to ballybough(more scum).  There was this mad looking offo called Vine Tree, I seen 2 scummers enter the place also, its like one you'd see in belfast with some fantastic prices, like in belfast.  This had things like 2 flagons for 4.99 and all this, big bottles of beer for fuck all, this sounds right up my street but not that fuckin street, I dont wanna be going to BANDIT COUNTRY to get my ale i fuckin tell thee!  Id rather stick with the local offo, i dont wanna be getting my face kicked off for a couple of cheap cans of lager with a name like GOBBLERS KNOB ALE or JOLLY REACHAROUND STOUT!! Fuck that shit, wouldnt go near the place!!! G'day!

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Time Line on the fuckin Dole!

When I heard about this my blood was on the fuckin boil I fuckin tell ya.  I heard this on Ireland AM, bunch of wankers, oh I'll come back to those cunts in a minute.  Basically this means that you will be fucked off the dole after a certain amount of time, what the fuck are you supposed to do then, this countries fucked, no fuckin jobs, hello, hello, anyone fuckin in there.  Joan Burton needs to be kicked into that wookie head of hers and torn a new fuckin arsehole!! THE FUCKHEAD!!!  This is defo gonna increase crime rates i'd say, oh the garda are gonna have to do a bit of work now, boohoo!! Its a load of bollocks!! Back to  those pricks on Ireland AM though, one of them totally agreed with it, yeah, it was none other than that FAT FUCKIN WASTE OF SPACE, Aidan "I eat everything in my path" Cooney.  This fat cunt gets a big salary at the end of the day, yeah, id like to see him living on the scratcher and being told he has a deadline to find a fuckin job thats not there.  THE FAT WASTE!!! He has his fingers in a lotta pies anyway and I dont know which ones he's fuckin eating, ALL OF THEM perhaps!!!! WHAT A FUCKIN JOKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, January 20, 2012

Book Mart Talbot Street

An old buddy of mine got in touch with me and asked me to do a review of this shop, me and him used to go into this shop back in the day to buy/trade games.  I would be surprised if this place is still running to be honest because this place was a fuckin joke.  The guy that ran the place was some tulip I tells ya and when I say tulip I mean proper fuckin dickwad!  Anyway back to the shtory, you would bring in a PS1/N64 and this is when the PS1/s where the size of an aircraft carrier, you would have about 6 games with it and you'd ask your man could you trade it off another console, now that sounds like a straight trade to me but nah!!! I can knock 5 pounds off the console, ARE YOU HAVING A FUCKIN GIRAFFE MOTHERFUCKER!!! He would be deadly serious and all and his voice was as boring as Dave Fannings aswell so you'd be nearly falling asleep just listening to the fucker but anyway, the shop was a fuckin rip off and oh yeah, the way he had the games displayed, someone would ask to have a look at something on a shelf behind him and then the other lad would go for the reacharound and rob a game from behind the counter, I seen it happen, this was talbot street after all.  There was these other 2 lads that used to work there that didnt have a clue what day it was, is this game any good, eh, uh, uh, i dunno, it looks good on the back, but it could be the worst game in the world, you fuckin MORON!!! The fucker would also rip you off on your old school books, even if without mickeys drawn on some of the characters, haha but yeah, I should have said to him when I was selling NO SALE and then smacked him with a copy of BUSY AT MATHS 6 into the skull!!!! Anyway, book mart, what a load of BOLLOX!!!

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Wankers that take up half the cycle lane in theyre cars and Walkinstown Roundabout Wacko's

This is something that really pisses me the fuck off!!! The cycle lane is meant for fuckin BICYCLES, not fuckin cars, you should be able to cycle down a cycle lane fancy free without any bleedin hassle, but no, theyres drivers that just dont give a fuck about cyclists, theyd kill ya if they had the chance, fuckers! Anyway, cycling down greenhills road every morning, except for tuesdays, theyres always fuckers I cant get past taking up half the cycle lane, well here, if you want your wing mirror removed free of charge I will happily do it for ya, ya fucker!  Then we come to the fuckin hellish nightmare that is Walkinstown JAYSUS Roundabout and weve got fuckers Jockeying for position to try and get down one of the roads in a hurry, I just get off my bike at that stage because I know if I try and cycle through there I wont be cycling again if you get my drift!  Its fuckin bedlam I tells ya, cunts nearly crashing into each other, its like watching the bumper cars in bray(rip), but yeah FUCK THAT SHIT!!!!

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

One Direction

Or as I call them "One Erection" because thats all they have between the 5 of them, if even.  These are 5 annoying little wanker fuckstains and one of them I'm ashamed to say is from Ireland.  They came from that piece of shit The X-Factor, dont get me started on that shite.  Anyway, they sing about girls and all, the only action theyve ever seen is probably someone getting a blowy down the back of the bus or something.  Theyre fuckin pathetic and theyre music, if you can call it that is pure fuckin muck, end of fuckin shtory.  Good day!

24 Hours to Kill: The murders of Marius Szwajkos and Pawel Kalite

This is on a more serious note this time, mostly I do joke posts but this programme actually made my blood boil.  This fuckin scum of the earth bastard named David Curran and his other scumbag mate that deserve to rot in fuckin hell Sean Keogh killed 2 innocent polish people.  It started over a scuffle outside a chipper, one of the scumbags bumped into one of the polish guys and next of all it all started a melee with all the scumbags getting the better of him.  Thats the way scumbags operate you see, they never go for you on theyre own, oh no, theyre fuckin cowards you see, i would love to exterminate every one of the fuckers!!!  As if that wasnt enough, giving the poor lad a hiding, no, the sick fucker goes round to the lads house and stabs him and his friend through the head with a screwdriver, yeah, a fuckin screwdriver, thats just fuckin evil, SCUM OF THE FUCKIN EARTH!!!  I really hope these fuckers are being made pick up the soap in prison on a regular basis, I would love if someone murdered the fuckers in prison or something, thats not justice, sending these fuckers to prison, they make new friends and live a comfortable scumbag lifestyle, bring back public execution for these type of fuckers!!! FUCKIN SCUM!!!

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Joan Burton

Well well well! Dont get me started on this piece of shit!  The stupid fuck is asleep half the time in the dáil, ive seen her on telly in there a few times and her eye's are completely glazed over, maybe she had been out the night before on the batter, is she a dipso, i dunno but she does like the type that would suck the sweat out of a wino's sock!!!  She looks like Chewbacca from star wars the insufferable motherfucker!!!  I think everyone knows the score with this one and if you have respect for her i dunno what planet your living on!!!! Bye now!!!


Where in the name of fuckin hell do I start with this one!  Its about a couple of chav/scumbag/wastes of space/scum of the earth motherfuckers from Dublin of which only 2 of them or something are from tallaght, holy jaysus man, lets get to it!  Right its like one of them programmes like Jersey fuckin Shore or something yeah, if America make one, then England make one of course fuckin Ireland have to make one aswell! Fuckin wank!  Anyway back to the point, its actually very painful to talk about this for fucks sake! Right, its these 7 or 8 mutants living in some gaff, I dont even think its in Tallaght, I could be wrong though, they just sit round all day talking complete and utter shite with theyre big orange fuckin heads on them, one of them her teeth are so big she could eat an apple through a picket fuckin fence, she could eat a water melon throught a fuckin cot! You get my drift, they even shop in the square and spend 700 quid on fuck all, i could have spent that money on getting them all executed for fuck sake, in the words of Bill Hicks "bad fuckin choice"! Anyway, dont watch this piece of crap, it does exactly what it says on the tin(of fake tan)! Its a fuckin joke and last time i checked tallaght was spelt the way i just spelt it there, not TALLA, thats pronouned TAWLA and sounds like your from D 4 or something, oh fuck off!!!! Bye now!! 

Army Bargains off Capel Street

Right right then, here we go, its been a while since I've done a review and what better time to do it than the start of a new year, expect more of these by the way.  This is one I thought needed a mention, Army Bargains,  I seen people giving out about it on and I thought I'd give my opinion of the place.  Where do I start, the old fella that runs the place doesnt even give you a chance to get in the jaysus door before he has the fuckin trousers you didnt even want on you! haha! In fact, he can hear you coming all the way from the bottom of capel street and he's making plans for your inner leg for jaysus sake, measuring tape at the ready!  Another thing that pisses me off is, they follow you every where you go, I was looking at a pair of boots one day and your man was asking me "what do you need them for" what the fuck business is it to him anyway, fuck sake, I should have said "standing on your head" if you dont fuck off away from me, silly bastard! His attitude is appauling for fuck sake, he reminds me of Hulk Hogan or something or some kind of bad guy from a Seagal film, what a prick! Anyway's Army Bargains doesnt get a lot of marks out of 5, maybe skid marks but not points! G'day to yiz!